Delco you are on the clock! The Delco Draft is right around the corner. This coming Tuesday night at 9:30 live on Delco Live to be exact. Let’s find out what the needs of the area are and what can certain areas not afford to lose. Get your Delco Tees shirts out to show support for your area. We have the whole breakdown:
Greater Upper Darby Area
Where is Included: Upper Darby, Drexel Hill, Stonehurst, Cardington, Parts of East Lansdowne, Milbourne
Can’t Afford to Lose: Losing the Cobbs Creek Cougar would be a devastating morale blow to a town that had a rough 2020. As important as that icon is, the Upper Darby Area can absolutely not afford to lose its lifeblood… the Irish Riviera of West Chester Pike. Packed with “traditional” Irish Pubs, Upper Darby tends to lose a lot of income in both alcohol sales and arrests if they cannot hold on to that staple of the community. Sources say UD is fine with parting ways with 69th Street if it means keeping the Cougar and the Drunks
Needs to Acquire: This would be Upper Darby’s chance to move up and finally lock-in Clifton Field. In a multi-year battle full of wasted tax dollars for surveys, they have the chance to throw the handshake agreement with Clifton to the curb and get their most coveted piece of land. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Upper Darby try to get the top seed and draft the home of Cowpie Bingo
Ridley Area
Where is Included: Ridley Park, Folsom, Woodlyn, Eddystone, I guess Rutlege, Holmes, Milmont Park
Can’t Afford to Lose: Ridley has a lot to digest when looking at what to protect. They stand to lose the legacy of the original Wawa and also run the risk of losing the original home of Charlie’s Burgers to an outside source. These would be debilitating to the area and require the Green Ridley R Flags to fly at half mast. Ridley must hang on to at least one of the Folsom food locations
Needs to Acquire: There would be nothing more extravagant than if Ridley could acquire Flag Day, and instead of celebrating the US Flag, as the Yeadon created holiday currently does… if they can change the entire dynamic of June 14 in the USA, by making all 50 State fly Green Ridley R Flags. This could be a chance to go National.
The Chesters
Where is Included: Chester, Upper Chichester, Lower Chichester (Get the name now), Upland, Parkside
Can’t Afford to Lose: Chester has already spent so much money on trying to revitalize the Waterfront. It has been met with mixed results, but abandoning the plan would be catastrophic to the region. Chester needs to hang on to Harrah’s “Philadelphia” and State Correctional Institution-Chester. It also wouldn’t be crazy for them to use a panic pick. Lock in Suburu Park earlier than it would appear on most other areas radar
Needs to Acquire: Chester would thrive if they could acquire Dining Under the Stars and host it at 22nd Street and Edgemont Ave. As a means to bring in some autumnal tourism, a move to snag Linvilla Orchards would definitely behoove the only City in the County. A pumpkin patch with some fresh Mrs. Smiths Pies on 13th and Upland could be an absolute game-changer.
Swarthmore
Where is Included: Swarthmore. They hired a bunch of lawyers and demanded that they draft alone
Can’t Afford to Lose: The only thing Swarthmore loves more than talking about how they are from Swarthmore, is the Roundabout. The Co-Op can not exist as the only aspect of the personality of the town. Swarthmore needs help from that random circle in the middle of a major street.
Needs to Acquire: This is Swarthmore’s opportunity to finish what they started… they can get their hands on the Blue Route, and make the entire stretch in the 610 two lanes… or worse. They could literally make it pedestrian-only. This is Swarthmore’s chance to put North to South traffic flow in a body bag.
Main Line
Where is Included: The Delco parts of Wayne, Villanova, Radnor, Ardmore, Haverford
Can’t Afford to Lose: One of the few reasons Delco still has an interest in the Main Line is Villanova Basketball. The 2016 and 2018 Champions, the Main Line simply cannot afford to lose that bargaining chip to the peasant classes of proper Delco. Most Delconians cannot play Merion Golf Course, so that would be another option they may want to make moves to protect. A transfer of that to a working-class area would be a culture shock to the members
Needs to Acquire: The Main Line needs to get more Delco. This would be their chance to show they can get just as dirty as their chauffeurs and landscapers… they may try to go full 610 and draft Cow Pie Bingo. While traditionally thousands of Miller Lite drunk individuals meeting up to hoot and holler at a cow taking a shit on a square, while gambling on it may seem out of place in an area of Mansions. This may be the year to paint the shitting squares on Radnor High’s field. Time to let ol’ Bessie loose to make some degenerates some cash
The 19018
Where is Included: Clifton, Aldan, Primos, Secane, Parts of Penn Pines
Can’t Afford to Lose: There’s a lot of real Delco in this area that has entered into the draft. Upper Darby will be looking hard at Clifton Field. The Main Line will absolutely be pondering Cow Pie Bingo, and while they deliver to most of the area anyway, a location change of Imperial Pizza could throw off the entire nexus of this area. I wouldn’t even look into protecting the Grass Mowing Goats, they have fallen out of favor. With the creating of UberEats and DoorDash, the Golden Mile of Food on Baltimore Pike may be a little antiquated. The 19018 needs to protect Clifton Field, or at least it’s legacy of Cow Pie Bingo by any means
Needs to Acquire: The Clifton Chickens, while interesting are not fierce. A meaner and more iconic animal could bring a much-needed boost to the region. A Clifton Ram? Chickens? Naked Crackheads running from police for 40 days… No… The 19018 needs to build on Barnaby the Delco Bear. This is a young upstart that took the region by storm, leaving his paw prints on our hearts. Protect Clifton Field and get The Bear
Interboro Region
Where is Included: Glenolden, Prospect Park, Norwood, Parts of Briarcliff
Can’t Afford to Lose: Their top priority of this draft is retaining the Beep Beep Bridge. A close second would obviously be the MacDade Mall and its legacy, but a bridge/underpass that makes you stop, honk x 2, and proceed is too much of a hit for the community to take. Davis’s Trading Post and the Flooded 420 Underpass should be on their list, but first and foremost must be to Keep Keep the Beep Beep.
Needs to Acquire: One thing this region lacks is the Amish. This would be an ideal time to scoop up Booths Corner and move it to the location of the MacDade Mall. Little Mom and Pop bodegas would be a pleasant reminder to the long time locals of the insane amount of leather shops and hair product places that used to fill the MacDade Mall in its heyday… they would just be Amish. I would think the Interboro region would do all they could to lock in Booths Corner. South Ave… get ready for some horse and buggy traffic.
Darby to Delmar
Where is Included: Darby, Colwyn, Sharon Hill, Folcroft (Old Folcroft and The Village)
Can’t Afford to Lose: You can’t lose your lifeblood. You cannot lose the main source of food, cigarettes, and even a standard institution of learning… you cannot lose The Sev (711) on Delmar Drive. The Sev is like rice to China, Vodka to Russia, or Maple Syrup to Canada. At no chance should this area consider looking anywhere else but renewing Delmar Drive
Needs to Acquire: With the local success of the Folcroft Diner, bringing in a second in the form of Tom Jones Diner wouldn’t be too off the board. You may also see this region make a move at The Drexelbrook Holiday Inn and their terrible sign, and set it up right outside the city limits, and try to set up cheap hotel rooms for people thinking it’s Philly.
Lansdowne-Yeadon
Where is Included: Lansdowne, Yeadon
Can’t Afford to Lose: History cannot be lost here. Flag Day is one of the older Holidays on record, and the Lansdowne Tree has been there for centuries. These are two sentimental favorites to longtime residents.
Needs to Acquire: With the Lansdowne Theater still not operational, it wouldn’t be out of the blue if they took a stab at drafting 69th Street for the Movie Theater and Tower Theater. After the death of Roscoe the Lansdowne Turkey, the region may be interested in replacing the fallen icon with another aviary legend, and looking into Essingtons Blitz/The DelCrow, or even using a later pick on that white Cockatoo that hangs outside the Glenolden Wawa. The Cobbs Creek Parkway wraps around into Yeadon, so if they are up to moving a lot of pieces, an attempt at the Cobbs Creek Cougar may not be out of the question
Springfield/Morton
Where is Included: Springfield, Morton
Can’t Afford to Lose: The Springfield Mall. I know it’s not the 1980’s and the whole mall scene isn’t what it used to be, but you cannot lose that shopping mecca of the county. With MacDade Mall and Granite Run closed, it one of the last major gathering spots of consumerism around. Keeping it would guarantee at least one Target stays in Springfield. The ISOP’s from Pappous and Morton Monster from the Coffee Station should also be at the top of their list to protect.
Needs to Acquire: Finish off the war and claim the entire Golden Mile of Food from Clifton. The Golden Mile of Food is the stretch of Baltimore Pike from Oak Ave to Leamy that has dozens of excellent food choices. There was been a cold war of sorts between Clifton and Springfield over which section has the better selection, this is Springfield/Mortons’ chance to put the nail in the coffin. With the loss of the hotels next to Best Buy and PetSmart, the area has taken a huge hit in its seediness over the last few years. They can seed it back up by making a huge pick… Moving Lou Turks right to the downtown 19064
West Chester Pike West
Where is Included: Newtown Square, Broomall, Edgemont, Marple
Can’t Afford to Lose: This region cannot lose the only legal reason poor people go there… the Community College. Lock in DCCC, and lock it in early. If DCCC is off the board early, it would be a priority for the area to hold on to the Regal Movie theater. This pandemic will end, and that theater and even that shopping center will be a hot commodity.
Needs to Acquire: With many acres and beautiful homes, this area would be a perfect location for a prison. If West Chester Pike West doesn’t take a serious look into signing George W. Hill Correctional Facility, this staff would be flabbergasted. It just makes sense from a civil engineering standpoint. If the prison is unavailable, the area could absolutely benefit from a smoggy refinery. I would reach out to Marcus Hook Refineries agent and stalk the small talk
Havertown
Where is Included: Havertown
Can’t Afford to Lose: It would be the Skatium. A pillar of the community for ages, and a hot spot to get arrested at, it essentially needs to stay where it is. If that goes earlier than expected, it would interest Havertown to look into keeping the Bubblegum Factory, or even disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy’s gambling parlor
Needs to Acquire: Could you imagine if Havertown dove in and took The Irish Riviera of West Chester Pike. While some of the Riviera is in Havertown, a majority is within the Upper Darby limits. Adding The Riviera along with the surplus amounts of Irish bars already in Havertown, the town would basically start speaking in Gaelic or a deep brogue. Margaret Thatcher would be spinning in her grave.
Rust Belt
Where is Included: Marcus Hook, Trainer, Brookhaven, Aston, Lenni, Linwood
Can’t Afford to Lose: Where would one buy a shed beside Ricks’s Sheds? This is the Mount Olympus of yard buildings. Tom Jones is also a viable option to attempt to keep on their roster, as is Wolf’s Superior sandwiches, however, nothing beats a Ricks Shed… ever
Needs to Acquire: Short of them gaining a second Rick’s Shed, their top goal would be to bring in opportunities to make the area more pedestrian. If they could get their hands in moving The Circle in Ridley Park and bringing the likes of Dolans, R Park, 7/11, Delco Live Studios, and Double Deck down south, that would be an amazing feat. Planned Parenthood would also be an interesting choice for the region.
Capital City
Where is Included: Media, Middletown, Rose Valley, Nether Providence, Wallingford
Can’t Afford to Lose: Media is Media. It’s the County Seat which is why this area is deemed Capital City. Media has its own identity and really cannot afford to lose it. Dining Under the Stars, First Friday Flea Markets, Rose Tree Park Events, State Street, Media has a lot they would want to hang on to and keep their town’s personality fresh. The number one entity in their scope would be to keep the Courthouse. Without the foot traffic of all us Delco degenerates showing up to court, or for jury duty, in both cases just to be sent home because a plea deal was struck, this town would crumble.
Needs to Acquire: Like noted earlier, Media is Media, and it wouldn’t hurt to get more Delco. If the rumor mills are to be believed, Capital City is looking at the possibility of bringing in the Legacy of the Bazaar. This would be a devastating loss for mid-Delco as decades of memories would be taken by the place we go to drink on State Street and pay child support.
Tinicum Island
Where is Included: Essington, Lester
Can’t Afford to Lose: Lou Turks. Plain and simple
Needs to Acquire: This is an island that has more strip clubs than places to buy food. It would be beneficial for Tinicum Island the way of Aldan’s No Name Food Store. This could provide a steady balance of post lap dance snacks, pre-lap dance Phila hats, 8XL T-shirts in a bag, and 8 packs of Tahitian Treat juice. With the loss of that odd green McDonalds, Tinicum could benefit from taking a shot at The Golden Mile of Food as well. Nothing compliments a Tuesday afternoon couch dance like some fast food.
Delco you are on the clock! The Delco Draft breakdown is plain and simple. Who will start their path to Delco supremacy.
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